Sample Manuscript

Barbara Wilson http://barbarawilson.org

Diane Hunter www.epiclifeministries.com

Shari Morrison Braendel http://http://www.FashionMeetsFaith.com

Purity Rings  http://www.purityrings.com 

Donald James Parker

http://m.imdb.com/name/nm5583307/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

April Aguirre https://purityrocks.wordpress.com,

https://m.facebook.com/PurityCultureMagazine?ref=bookmark

Wayne Blakely http://www.knowhislove.com

Beth Steury  https://bethsteury.com/

Deborah Rodriguez http://www.truebeautyministries.com/?page_id=1593

X3Watch http://x3watch.com/

The Shabby Apple  http://www.shabbyapple.com/ 

Dr. MaryAnn Diorio 

http://maryanndiorio.com/  or

https://www.facebook.com/drmaryanndiorio

 

 Your purity ring speaks volumes to others!

We understand the significance of purity rings and that they represent a decision to honor God and stay pure in all areas of our lives. We also commit to staying sexually pure and waiting until marriage. The purity ring is a daily reminder of this important promise. Often when wearing a purity ring, people will ask us what it represents. At the point of our response two things will happen. We will either have an opportunity to explain what purity means to us or we will be judged.

Countless times we have heard how by wearing a purity ring we have had a positive impact in others’ lives. So many people want to respect themselves and have a meaningful relationship with God, and this conversation starts that engine. As you share your walk, your joy, your peace and your purpose, people see that shine through and they want it. We have even heard stories where a girl or guy wearing a purity ring has put a thought into a pastor’s heart that leads to a purity conference at church where the direction of the youth is seriously moved. By one person wearing a purity ring and taking a stand for abstinence before marriage a community has been impacted in profound ways.

Recently there has been a report published that teens and single adults are delaying sexual relationships more and more until marriage. They suggested all sorts of reasons why (bad economy, stress, not enough free time, etc), but we believe the most important reason is young people turning to God’s word and His heart for people to live in purity! Young people today see the pains of not being pure and they want to avoid that. They see that purity and abstinence can work. Life is not filled with a chaos of emotions, guilt, worry, unplanned pregnancies, horrible diseases, broken hearts, destroyed reputations and torn apart families. Yes, your walk in purity and abstinence can have an amazing impact on girls, guys, singles and Christians who are on the fence.

Sadly though there are many in society who will immediately ridicule you for wearing a purity ring. So often we hear stories from a girl or guy who say that someone said that they would not date them because they wore a purity ring. While you might be saddened, you should be grateful that you know straight up what that person’s intentions were before you got into a relationship where you opened up your heart. I will leave you with this profound fact – having talked to hundreds of newly married couples, I never once met a couple who regretted walking in purity and waiting until marriage. However every couple who said that they did not wait until marriage wish they had. Purity works. Plain and simple!

So remember that your decisions and choices have powerful impacts not only on your life, but often on the lives of others. Please visit PurityRings.com to learn more about purity rings for girls, guys, teens and single adults.

Love Waits By: Donald James Parker

Donald James Parker is the CEO of Sword of the Spirit Publishing, which has published Christian books and movies since 2008. Parker has written 20 books and several movie scripts. He has produced 5 Christian feature films in the last 2 years.

The Genesis of Love Waits the movie

In 2006 I woke up in middle of the night and squinted to read my digital clock. It read exactly two A.M. I had a sensation that a voice had woken me with the words “Write a book about evolution.” Perhaps I had dreamed it. What I did know is that my dreams of writing had died many years before and I knew practically nothing about evolution. Without thinking much about this nocturnal mystery, I rolled over and went back to sleep. In the morning when I awoke, I couldn’t shake the memory of it. For some reason, I lifted up a prayer. “Lord, did you ask me to write a book about evolution last night?”

A still small but very clear voice went through my head, “And when you’re done with that, I want you to go after Harry Potter and the sexual revolution.”

My initial reaction was that I’d just been commissioned to attack three of the most powerful cultural establishments on the planet. Later I would change the word establishments to strongholds. I figured the sexual revolution applied to the freedom to practice sex outside the bounds of marriage. I had always believed in chastity, so I was sure this would be the easiest of the three areas for me to deal with. In my books about Harry Potter and evolution, I emphasized chastity, but I felt that I needed a project dedicated to that principal. Somewhere in my wanderings on social media, I ran across the concept of purity or chastity pledging and the wearing of rings to demonstrate the commitment to saving oneself for their eventual spouse. The theme for my new book was thus provided and Love Waits was born. For my book cover, I got permission to use the picture of a ring that had the words “Love Waits” from Ron Roeck at PurityRings.com.

In 2011 my efforts to fulfill the command I had been given led me to consider making movies. Love Waits was the first story I wanted to bring to the screen. At the Gideon Film Festival, I met a 16-year-old girl who looked exactly like I pictured my heroine. I gave her a copy of my book with a note indicating that hopefully someday we would bring the movie to life together. After waiting three years for funds to materialize to shoot a modest budget film, I gave up on that dream. I revised it and opted to shoot an extremely low budget movie. My desired heroine was a bit old for the part at that time, but luckily she looked young, so I selected her to be my champion for purity. Brittany Mann, that young lady, did a phenomenal job in her first movie role as Cheri Martin.  Collin Alexander Brown, a veteran who had walked away from the industry for several years, did the same reprising the role of Cheri’s father.

This movie will be released by Christian Movies Direct in the summer of 2015. Currently it is available on my website at http://www.donaldjamesparker.com/ProductDetails.aspx?id=488.

It is our sincere hope that chastity groups will be able to use this movie to promote their message. One of the most disturbing trends in our society is the weakening of the family unit. The sexual revolution is a key cause for that erosion. Hopefully people will come to understand that the beautiful and marvelous gift of sex is devalued by abusing it in ways that God does not condone.  And the strength and enjoyment of marriages are diminished as a result.

Why Abstinence? A single mom’s perspective.

Purity Culture Magazine’s April Aguirre with her family Raquel, Carmen and dog Tank.

By April Aguirre

April is the creator of Purity Rocks and Purity Culture Magazine! You can find her fan pages on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram. 
Purity ROCKS was created in 2009 when she realized that God could use her singleness experience to help encourage other singles. Purity ROCKS has been inspired by her journey to persevere as she remains faithful to her belief that true love waits. 
Her vision for Purity Culture Magazine came in the summer of 2013 when she was inspired by Beth Moore’s study “The Inheritance”. After God confirmed that He could use all the hard stuff from her past to deliberately possess that ground for His glory, she passionately sought out His plan for this and then this idea of a mainstream purity magazine was given to her!

Introduction

All your choices and hard work in high school are preparing you for the future. It’s important to choose the right college and have dedication to pursue your training or degree. But there’s a lot more to making good life choices than preparing for college. According to The Barna Group, a majority of Americans will get married at some point in their life. Only one out of five adults (22%) have never been married, yet the intentional investment in a future family is not as common as preparing for a career. A career supports a family so being successful in that way can be a good investment, but someday your most important job will begin when you become a spouse and a parent.

I have learned firsthand that the choices I made as a teen played a big role in either supporting or hurting my future abilities as a wife and parent. I want you to know that every choice you make now will inevitably affect all aspects of your life, including your future spouse and children. As a teen you will be making relational decisions, whether healthy or unhealthy. It is these kinds of decisions that have the greatest potential to determine whether or not your future marriage will last and if you will end up raising your children as a single parent.

“Research by the National Center for Health Statistics and the University of Maryland found that women who save sex for marriage face a considerably lower risk of divorce than those who are sexually active prior to marriage. … Studies indicate that women who engage in early sexual activity and those who have had multiple partners are less satisfied with their sex lives than women who entered marriage with little or no sexual experience.”

Being a single parent isn’t any teenager’s dream. It certainly wasn’t mine as a starry-eyed sixteen year old with big dreams to become a wife and mother someday.  All it took was one mistake and I set myself up to become a single parent.  It didn’t matter how big my dreams were, how well planned, or how good my intentions.

The truth is, according to Divorce Magazine, “Statistics tell us that about half of all marriages now end in divorce.” Statistics are also showing the United States leads the world in fatherless families,¹ with roughly 24 million children (or 34 percent of all kids in the United States) living in homes where the father does not reside.^{2 4} Additionally, the number of children being raised by single mothers has more than tripled between 1960 and 2000.⁵

As a teenager I had a lot working against my desire to have a family, not just because of statistics but also because I wasn’t educated about the consequences from not choosing sexual abstinence. I wish I knew then what I know now, which is why I’m sharing my story with you! I want to talk with you about how my struggle as a single parent has taught me the most valuable way to invest in a family. My hope is that by sharing my story you will not make the same mistake I did.

My Story

At the tender age of thirteen I promised God that I would save myself for my wedding night. I kept this promise through most of my teen years, but when I was nineteen and dating my first boyfriend, we had sex about a year into the relationship. I remember vividly before then, the red flags in our relationship were like burning lights from a watch tower. I knew he was not the right person for me, but knowing that truth slipped away the second I gave him my virginity. The big red flags that were once so clear, suddenly became shrouded by an emotional attachment that I mistook for love. We got married in 1998, and after having two children were divorced in 2006. I have been single parenting ever since.

Single parenting is a very serious and potentially tragic situation for any family. Being a parent in general isn’t easy so it’s fair to say that single parenting can be twice as hard. I accredit my faith in God which alone has sustained me and my children to thrive even within our unwanted circumstances. What He has done for us proves that no circumstance is too difficult for Him to help us overcome! Here are more details to help explain this,

The Christmas holiday, spring and summer breaks are all difficult because my children leave to visit their other family. I’m alone during the times I need family the most. I have been fortunate to have my children with me during the school year, for which I’m very grateful but now that my children are getting older they want to live more with their dad and stepmom. Letting go of them because of our split-family home is inevitable. It breaks my heart to be without them but they also need their other family. Parents were not meant to raise a family alone, although my precious girls and I have paid a heavy price for my mistake, God has been faithful with each step of this journey.

Looking back, I realize that a short moment to feel “love” isn’t worth years of being in a difficult marriage or loneliness from being single. But more than that, it’s not worth the pain it causes children. I’m thankful that God used this difficult experience to renew my faith in Him but for some families this is not always the case.

According to Steve Elliott from Grassfire Nation, we have plenty of statistics to show what family brokenness has done to our society: 3 in 10 children grow up in broken homes. In the African-American community, it’s far worse: two-thirds of black children grow up with only one parent. More than half of all babies are conceived out of wedlock. Of those conceived out of wedlock, 4 in 10 are aborted.  Of the survivors of abortion, half the children born out of wedlock end up in poverty. Children from broken homes account for: 63% of teen suicides, 71% of teen pregnancies, 90% of homeless and runaways, 71% of high school dropouts, 75% of all drug users, 85% of behavioral disorders, 70% of those in juvenile detention and 57% of all prison inmates. These statistics are daunting and hard to over look, but with God’s help single parent homes can rise above these statistics!

Sex and Science

I used to wonder why I was different from others who could treat sex casually so much so that emotional attachments were nonexistent with each person they had sex with. For years I thought something was wrong with me until 2009 when I learned about God’s awesome plan for human sexuality.

God created a special hormone to bless the marriage relationship! It’s called oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.” During sexual intercourse it floods the woman’s brain in large amounts producing feelings of caring, trust and deep affection. This creates a bonding effect that satisfies our craving to connect deeply to someone else. But when this happens within a temporary relationship like I experienced, the lines between love and lust become blurred. But in the context of a loving, committed relationship such as marriage, the brain releases increasing levels of oxytocin to keep the bond secure. This is because our bodies were designed to respond physically to long-term intimacy. This science indicates God’s plan for sexuality, but there’s more…

Here’s what other credible sources are saying about this. According to Dr. Josh McDowell’s research, “Female brains receive especially high doses of oxytocin whenever there is touching and hugging. Vasopressin is a hormone that does the same thing in the male brain. …When we continually change partners, oxytocin levels decrease and the brain’s oxytocin release function doesn’t work as it’s supposed to. Promiscuous sexual activity wears down vasopressin production in the male brain, causing men and woman to become desensitized to the risk of short-term relationships.”

This explains why people can have casual sex, but there’s more…

Furthermore, Walt Larimore, MD says, “Research that stunned me was on the impacts of oxytocin on the male. Oxytocin is an emotional hormone for the female. We don’t see oxytocin in men but with one exception, it’s after sexual intercourse. After sexual intercourse a man’s oxytocin levels will soar. It’s his time of softness, talking and listening. It’s his time of emotional connection.  However, if a man chooses to have sex outside of marriage, or if a woman chooses to have sex outside of marriage, that person’s oxytocin level, with each subsequent act, will drop and drop and drop, and his testosterone level will go up and up and up. In other words, he doesn’t attach to her; he separates from her.  Inside of the marriage relationship, the sexual union increases the oxytocin levels over time. It increases his trust, and his loyalty. When I read this research my jaw dropped, it was a proof text with a biblical admonition that sex be reserved for marriage and we see it played out in God’s divine design of physiology, not only did my jaw drop by my eyes filled with tears to think of how many of our young people are sexually active before marriage.”

It’s not cool to have sex with as many people as you want, yet our culture glamorizes it. The fact is, the people who are being glamorized are living and dying with all sorts of STDS and experience unwanted pregnancies. However, people who are married have a lot more sex and are happier than those who play the field and are past their marital years because they chose to waste their lives on having temporary sex partners. Don’t let the culture define who you are, let God and His beautiful plan do that!

Conclusion

 It’s humbling to represent what can happen when you choose to have sex outside of a committed marriage relationship. But the message of abstinence is not all gloom and doom. You see, my story doesn’t end there! You also need to hear about the benefits of choosing abstinence and see some real world examples. Since 2006, my singleness has given me a second chance to invest in my family with a renewed commitment to my Lord and savior Jesus Christ and to abstain from sex until marriage. So I hope to personally share someday the great things that can happen when you wait for your life partner. If it’s not too late for me to make the right choice, then it’s not too late for you! There are also well-respected, high-profile athletes like football star Tim Tebo and track and field athlete Lori Jones who are also choosing to abstain from sex until marriage.

Although the consequences for not choosing abstinence should be enough to get our attention, the benefits are even more reason to abstain from sex until marriage. It prevents unwanted pregnancy and protects against sexually transmitted diseases, thus giving a stronger platform from which to pursue your dreams and goals.  I look at it this way, abstinence is the wisest investment for your future family. It’s the one investment that all the money in the world can’t purchase, because someday the love that you have for your family will be priceless.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that abstinence guarantees a perfect or lifelong marriage. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage but one thing is for sure, according to statistics and numerous studies, abstinence before marriage greatly reduces the chances for divorce and the epidemic of single-parent homes. Why? Because God’s plan is best!

Dr. Freda McKissic Bush of the Medical Institute for Sexual Health notes, “One of the greatest risk factors for depression, loss of self-esteem, and a lot of emotional consequences has to do with the number of people you have [sexual] relations with.” She went on to say, ‘The more people you have [sexual] relations with, the more likely you are to have difficulty forming healthy relationships in the future when you are ready to be with one person.”

Someday your future spouse and children will be thankful for your decision to remain abstinent until marriage. It’s hard, but definitely worth the sacrifice. Someday Tim Tebo, Lori Jones and I will be living proof that love is worth waiting for. But wait, you can do it too! Will you join us?

 

Resources:

Dr.Walt Larimore quote resource:  This information came from a broadcast aired on “Focus on The family” with Dr. Walt Larimore in 2009 titled “Differences that Strengthen a Marriage.” Although this recording is no longer available, similar content may be found in Dr. Larimore’s book His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage.”

Josh McDowell quote resources: Josh McDowell “Bare Facts” DVD transcript. Page19 is about the “Love Hormone”: http://www.josh.org/wp-content/uploads/BareFacts-FinalFormatted.pdf And from Blog post: http://craigtowens.com/tag/oxytocin/

Barna Group resources ,https://www.barna.org/barna-update/family-kids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released?highlight=YToxOntpOjA7czo5OiJzYWx2YXRpb24iO30=#.Unj53xAm2i8

 

 

Fifty Shades Of Grey

By: Barbara Wilson  Author/Speaker

The Invisible Bond; how to break free from your sexual past, Kiss Me Again; Restoring Lost Intimacy in Marriage, Free: Finding Freedom and Healing from your Past for women and young women, Break Free, www.barbarawilson.org

If you’re intrigued by the book and movie series, Fifty Shades of Grey, you’re not alone. Wikipedia claims that it’s topped the best seller list in the US and the UK, selling more than 60 million copies worldwide. Proclaimed by major day-time talk shows as a great read, and promoted by professionals as a way to spice up your sex life, the series has become a global phenomenon. And it’s not just the mainstream market caught up in the frenzy, but the Christian community as well. So what’s it all about? And what is drawing women around the globe to exclaim it’s praises?

The story involves an older man looking for a woman to become his sex-slave. He preys on the innocence and vulnerability of a younger woman, luring her with gifts and romance, and the promise of love. Drawn into the relationship, the young virgin agrees to sign his contract giving him complete power to do his bidding with her in his ‘red room of pain’. The sexual relationship is one of domination, bondage, abuse and victimization—all in the name of love. At least that’s what the author is attempting to portray…that this is love, and romance, and of course, just innocent fun.

But what’s the truth? If you take away the story element, what you’re left with is sex—page after page of erotic, explicit sex. In other words, it’s like watching pornography, except you’re reading it.  “But what’s the big deal with pornography,” you may be asking? “it’s not hurting anyone, and everyone’s doing it, right?” But the truth is, pornography can be very dangerous. Whenever we see images that cause us to respond with arousal, they become permanent pictures in our brains.  Over time if we use the images for sexual arousal and release, we can train our brains to be aroused by them to the point that we may not be able to be aroused by a live person. The feelings associated with watching pornography are so powerful that you want to repeat that feeling again. It’s why pornography is so addictive. Over time, you find it difficult to resist watching it, and even begin seeking it out. The same thing can happen with sexually erotic material in written form, as in romance novels like Fifty Shades of Grey. The written words can become visual pictures in our brain, and the potential for addiction is the same.

But an even greater danger I see is that in watching pornography, people begin to associate it with love. Teaching us that true love includes sex. And if you’re not having sex, you’re missing out on love. Even more, pornography glamorizes violent, abusive sex, making it seem harmless and innocent. But that’s not what we’re seeing happening in our culture. The violent nature of pornography towards women and children is causing men to see them as sexual objects they can use for their pleasure rather than someone to treasure and protect. And for women, it’s caused us to accept this kind of sex as the way to find and keep love. It’s lowered our expectations in what love is and how men treat us, and made us vulnerable to being victimized and hurt. In addition, pornography has devalued what God designed sex to be in marriage—as a self-less expression of a deep love that involves a life-time commitment. Instead love is cheapened by pornography and is all about using others for one’s selfish pleasure.

For the past eight years I’ve helped hundreds of women heal from their sexual pasts—whether from abuse, trauma or their own choices. And I’ve discovered that for many—this is their story. In their longing for love they surrendered their bodies, only to discover that it never measured up to what they were told or expected. Instead of the love they sought, what they reaped was emptiness and shame, feeling used, alone and unloved. For many it led them down a road they never wanted, planned or even knew they were taking–to a cycle of broken relationships leaving them wounded for years. Until they were willing to let God heal their past and restore them to wholeness.

The world may take their definition of love from books like Fifty Shades of Grey, but we have access to the greatest, truest love known to man. The self-less, sacrificial and unconditional love of God. God’s love is the opposite of the world’s. His love honors and treasures others, putting them first, being willing to wait. When we let God truly love us, we will know the real thing, and won’t be fooled by the imitation the enemy is trying to deceive and harm us with.

There are many young women reading this book as well. And that scares me. It scares me because if they believe the message of Fifty Shades of Grey, they’re in for a lot of pain, wounds and brokenness in their future—the kind that may take years to recover from. The kind of damage and brokenness I see and hear every day from older women who fell for the same lies years before. Your enemy delights in luring you down a path that leads to destruction. His goal is to weaken your resolve by glamorizing and minimizing the very things that will destroy you. Matthew 7:13-14 says; “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

The love and sex message of Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the enemy’s baubles enticing young women to follow him through a gate to a life of pain and destruction. And yet God says to ‘enter through the narrow gate’. The narrow road, contrary to the call of the world and unpopular to the masses, is the only one that leads to a life of joy, peace and blessing. It may not get the attention of the media, or be heralded by the best sellers list, but God’s way is always true, best and the only path to life.

The narrow gate leads to life and no regrets. And the chance at the true love your heart longs for.

I’m praying you’ll be one of the few who find it.  

     

 Breaking Through The Silence

By: Wayne Blakely Author/Speaker

Wayne Blakely grew up during the sexual revolution. While the church was silent regarding same-sex attraction, the world was well underway to normalize whatever “feelings” seem to drive us. Wayne was raised in a solid, Christian home, but suffered from the alienation and rejection that came from church, church school and society. At eighteen, he left the church and God and walked into the open arms of the “gay culture.”  This was not a culture that focused on morals or Godly principles. The focus was always on the desires of self.  But God doesn’t give up as long as there is a heart that will respond to Him. After nearly forty years in the “gay culture,” Wayne encountered God and recognized that God’s ways are not our ways. He is invitational and does not force us. But He pleads that we will surrender and fall in love with Him and allow Him to “redeem” us.  Today Wayne chooses to live in agreement with Jesus. He claims the blood of Jesus and the victory he offers. God has provided Wayne a ministry.  “Know His Love Ministries” http://www.KnowHisLove.org . Wayne has written for multiple Christian publications, appeared on world-wide television and shares His testimony around the world to those interested in the freedom that only Jesus can offer.  He is looking forward to engaging with those interested in the topic of “homosexuality” and the bible through a regular, featured column.

Dads all over the world have their video cameras ready for that much anticipated excitement that culminates at the long awaited birth of their precious child. For months couples analyze names of the new life that will bring them great joy.

Every child wants to believe that they matter, they belong… and they are loved. But that’s not always the case. It certainly wasn’t for me. During my birth mother’s pregnancy, she made it a very definite point to tell relatives that she was having a baby girl and nothing but a girl.

On that gray foggy morning in May, in Oakland, California, I brought anger and dismay to my begrudging mother. She didn’t want to hold me. She was grief stricken. All of her deep, concentrated hope and intent couldn’t change my gender. It was a sad morning. Not just for my self-centered mother, but for me.

We arrive vulnerable and hungry for love and comfort as we burst into this scary world. We don’t talk much about Satan anymore. Strange how we don’t seem to consider the impact of his presence and the mission he has to deceive us regardless of what it takes. His first lie to me was that I was unwanted.

There I was… Crying, scared,… perhaps angry. I’ve heard worse stories. At a recent speaking engagement a sweet lady came and told me how her mother had thrown her in a garbage can when she was born. But praise God, someone was watching and rescued her. God is so good to us.

My mother regretfully took me home, just a few steps from where I was born on the air force base where we lived. My father was career air force man. Within a short time after my arrival, my dad returned to the air force base from an assignment. The neighbors approached him about the abuse they believed was taking place. My dad, not wanting to think poorly of his wife, instructed the neighbors to mind their own business.

One day he came home and found my arm in a cast. Something wasn’t right. When he asked my mom what had happened, she told him I had Bursitis. A condition I would likely encounter today, but certainly not at two years old. It was clear that immediate action needed to be taken.

My father wasn’t going to be around to properly care for me, so he reached out to relatives. My Aunt Virginia and Uncle Fred had been earnestly praying that they might offer my natural father a proposal of permanently adopting me. He agreed. Don’t forget that God knows us before we are born. He has a plan for each of us.

God’s plan for me was to be placed in an environment where I might get to know Him. We’re born with a fallen nature, yet gifted with the power to choose between good and evil behavior. Adam and Eve were the only two people created spotless and perfect. After their sin, all of us would be tarnished by the effects of sin. If we will acquaint ourselves with our Creator, we can know His will and His plan for our lives which will always agree with His Word. Our knowledge is not equal to God’s.

Proverbs 22:6 says; “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Many challenges were before me. When being placed in the arms of women, I would yell and scream; “Put me down! Put me down!… I hate women!” My new parents were in for some serious trials.

Parents are wise to introduce their children to an intimate relationship with Jesus from the beginning. Our only safety is in Him. This world belongs to the “Prince of Darkness.” There is no safety in wandering about without the protection of our Heavenly Father.

At three years old, I ran around the house screaming; “I don’t want to be a boy! I want to be a girl!” Now who do you think drummed that into my head? Hadn’t my birth mother made it perfectly clear that the only way I would gain love or acceptance would be by becoming a girl?

As I entered my first year of school, bullying and harassment awaited me. I made up my mind that if I could endure twelve years of school and the misery it contained, I would never step foot inside another classroom.

I had developed more feminine characteristics than masculine. Boys hollered at me; “sissy,” “queer,” “pansy,” and “homo.” I painfully questioned why I was so different. I didn’t ask to be this way. Why didn’t people like me? I attended a Christian school, church and church functions. I read the bible and saw that wherever “homosexuality,” was referenced, it seemed to be describing me. Why was this happening? Why had God done this to me? (It’s interesting that we blame God for the bad things that happen.) No one was talking about my problem and I saw no way out!

I loved God. I loved going to church and was active in the church. But I kept experiencing alienation and I sensed that I was some kind of misfit. Some tried to give me tips, suggesting that if I acted more masculine I wouldn’t be so miserable.

Something became radically evident to me after my conversion to Jesus later in my life. We don’t talk about “feelings.” Whether they have to do with homosexuality, pornography, depression, or whatever else. We remain silent. And in that silence our problem grows.

Same-sex attraction dominated life. I was experiencing “feelings” that don’t agree with God’s Word and I couldn’t figure out why. Slowly Satan began to pick away at me and spun a web of confusion around me.

When I was eighteen I met a man who had also been raised as a Christian and experienced same-sex attraction. He quickly informed me that the church does a great job of pointing out that homosexual behavior is sin… and then the church goes silent. It never reached out with a “redemptive” message. So there we were with “feelings” that we couldn’t seem to control and a church family that basically conveyed the idea that there’s no hope.

In this realization I walked away from the church and God. I’m sure this brought great joy to Satan. He figured he was successful at deceiving me through my “feelings.”

This was an extremely difficult time for my parents and acting on my temptations must have saddened God. My parents became more diligent in their prayers. They trusted God even though they couldn’t see any confirming results.

At first it seemed that the gay community welcomed me with open arms. Guys were anxious to get to know me and they freely complemented me. I had never experienced so much acceptance. I was blinded to the fact that these guys were after my flesh, not my heart. Satan is very clever in the ways he blinds us with what we want to hear.

I began to live my life based on self-gratification. There were no bars on self-indulgence. I secured more friends than I had ever had as a kid. And a certain boldness about having a gay identity began to give me a self-confidence I had never experienced.

The discipline that had been resident in my Christian upbringing was pretty quickly abandoned. Life was pretty much one continuous party. Although it had its occasional consequences. I “came out” during the sexual revolution. Part of the side effects was in contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Among those was two serious encounters with Hepatitis. I was hospitalized twice and one nearly took my life.

It was a given that I was a prime candidate for contracting AIDS. And with every HIV test, I would beg God to provide me with a negative test result. And He did.

My friends were rapidly falling off the face of the earth. It seemed that someone I knew was dying almost every week. But this didn’t detour me. In my search for “Mr. Right,” I began a massage business which was no more than some kind of palatable prostitution. It took a while, but eventually I was set up in a sting and arrested for prostitution. This was a reality that shook me a bit.

Twists and turns kept occurring that would eventually have me contemplating what my choices in life had cost me. I kept regrouping, trying to think of myself as having worked out some kind of personal purpose in life. But disappointment kept staring me in the face.

After nearly forty years of living openly as a gay man, I found myself sitting in my bedroom one day, in front of my computer. As I sat contemplating my life, I began to think about my destiny. Looking back on my solid Christian education and home life, I knew I was a disappointment to God. My daily actions certainly didn’t please Him.

I began to realize that I didn’t have the right to blame Him for being gay. As I thought about the great controversy between Jesus and Lucifer, I saw the deceit that had been controlling my life. I was blaming God for something that Satan had convinced me of. I had been living according to my “feelings” instead of according to God’s will and His plan for my life.

I lived in desperation. I didn’t know God the way He desired me to. I had not immersed myself in a loving, courting, relationship with Him. Jesus requests that we spend quality time developing a relationship with Him. How can I know His will for my life if I am not studying His Word and communicating with Him?

Suddenly the Holy Spirit convicted my heart that I needed an intimate, loving relationship with Jesus. This is not an intimacy that is sexualized. This is about drawing near to Him and engaging with Him. In study and allowing Him to reveal Himself to me, I began to understand that my only safety is in remaining in an unbroken relationship with Jesus. This was a lightning bolt experience for me. It took a few days to let it all gel in my head. I didn’t want to make any rash decisions. I wanted to know that Jesus and His love for me was going to carry me through forever.

The more I studied about His amazing love and how patiently He had waited, the more I began to trust Him and experience His redeeming grace. His blood purchased a victory and freedom that could be mine if I claimed it. It’s a free gift.

Just as He promised, my life began to change. And the power that is in prayer was taking hold. Prayers my parents had been praying for years. Hope… forgiveness… love… and redemption.

I made a decision to be re-baptized. I choose Jesus daily, instead of what my flesh cries out for.

Without the study of God’s Word, we fail to know how to please our Creator. But He is patient and He continues to call out to our hearts as long as we will respond to His tender, soft voice.

Praise God for His Goodness and forgiveness. Praise God that lives are changing today because of His deep love for us. In Him … I have become a “New Creation.” 2 Corinthians 5:17. The goal is not to become heterosexual, it’s about developing a “plugged-in” relationship with Jesus.

Know His Love Ministries has celebrated five years of ministry to churches, schools, families and those who suffer from same-sex attraction. Visit www.KnowHisLove.org today.

 

Learning to Love

By: Diane Hunter

We were made for love. Love is a basic human need. There are many kinds of love, but at some point in each of our lives we are all drawn towards romantic love. How do we foster healthy romance? I propose that it is not possible to have a truly healthy romance without sexual purity. That’s quite an assertion. How does sexual purity teach us to be healthy lovers? This topic is worthy of our attention because the stakes are so high. When people choose to become sexual outside of God’s protective design of purity, they are opening the door to the heartbreak that the enemy brings. Often people experience loss and feel shame, which keeps them from truly being able to love and be loved.

I want to begin by sharing a bit of background so that when I discuss how sexual purity affects how we love, you know that I am sharing from both ends of the spectrum—from purity to promiscuity—and back. My husband Roger and I have had our own roller-coaster journey with sexual purity.

I met God at a very young age and knew that I wanted to honor Him by staying pure. I also knew that I wanted to get married, so I began to pray for my future husband’s purity, along with mine. I went to school, got a job, and lived my life… but didn’t meet the one who would become my husband for a very long time…

When I met Roger at church. He caught my eye and I felt amazingly comfortable around him. He was so easy to talk to and I loved his embracing smile and countenance. He had so many qualities that I valued in a husband. We had a fun, sweet time together and I thought he might be the one. That’s why it hit me like a ton of bricks when he told me he that had previously lived with his ex-fiancé…

I was heartbroken. I really liked Roger but I had been praying for over 25 years for the man I was going to marry, and his purity—as I maintained mine. I was 37 years and a virgin when we married. Both of our processes brought us humbled before the LORD.

He wrestled with disappointment as he wished he could go back and make different choices. Of course he could not change his past, but he had received Christ’s redemption years before I met him and was completely forgiven. I understood that spiritually; it was settled. I knew God had forgiven him—as He always does when people repent. I knew that Isaiah 1:18 said that he was “whiter than snow.” But I too, wrestled with disappointment. I had to work through my questions with the LORD and learn how to love and forgive from my heart/emotions. Our restoration, in this area, is proof that God absolutely forgives, redeems, and heals everything that we submit to Him. (You can find the details of how we processed through our journey in our book, Purity by Design).

So practically, how do love and sexual purity connect? God’s love, true love—described in 1 Corinthians 13—is really the only thing that will override a person’s desire to have sex.

It is vital to understand that it is only through God’s powerful love that it is possible to successfully commit to purity. Roger explains this brilliantly in our book as he gives very practical examples about how he moved from sexual bondage to a lifestyle of purity. And, purity, as we will see, teaches us how to love.

Purity teaches us HOW TO LOVE GOD. Every time we deny gratifying our own sexual desires (outside of marriage), we build depth and grow in our love with God. We pull on His strength and fullness to maintain our purity. Our desire is supposed to bring us to Him—who is our fulfillment.

Purity also teaches us HOW TO LOVE OTHERS—instead of seeking our own satisfaction in a selfish way. When we refrain from being sexual until we are married, we develop patience, and preference for others. Love is always about what is best for other people’s well-being. When you engage in sex outside of marriage you choose to surrender your purity as well as participating in another person losing theirs. This simply is not love. Love protects. Love honors. Love waits. Love gives—and it never partakes at another’s expense. Loving like this before you marry is the thing that prepares you to be a good spouse in the future.

Purity teaches us HOW TO LOVE OURSELVES. It is the one area we all have in common that God sets a boundary around. Honoring this standard builds character, a sense of value, and self-respect in us.

No matter where you’ve come from there is overwhelming grace to both stay pure, and become pure if you are struggling. (If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact us at our website: http://www.epiclifeministries.com.  We bless your journey!   –Diane Hunter

Please go back and read God’s definition of love; 1 Corinthians 4-13.

 

 

 

 

 

THE ORIGINAL PRINCESS STORY

By April Aguirre

~Introduction~

 Judging by what’s marketed to girls, (romance novels, princess fairytales, beauty magazines to name a few) supply and demand suggests that most of us are wired a certain way.

 We grow up learning from Cinderella and other fairytales that someday we’ll meet our prince charming, wear a royal princess wedding gown as we’re rescued into a new life of adventure, romance and true love.

 Who wouldn’t want this? Certainly everyone wants to find true love!

 Many people would argue that our culture is to blame for programming girls to be this way but I believe that inside every girl God has already placed a princess heart because of who He has created her to be.  God’s design and plan for our femininity is sacred and beautiful so we must be careful with how we allow our nature to be influenced.

Unfortunately, there are very lucrative outlets having to do with the way God wired us but with only one goal in mind—profit.  In fact, this kind of market is so successful that these outlets influence our society enough to have created a *cultural norm effect that has warped and cheapened our value and God’s design for our lives.

One example of this is that the desired outcome for a princess fairytale love story requires God, not luck, magic or sex.  Without the whole princess story being told, girls don’t learn about their true identity and value. This is one of the many reasons why they can become vulnerable to searching for these things the wrong way.

~Part 1~

Our heavenly love story…the Princess and her King

“God is in the business of writing amazing scripts for our lives. Not Hollywood scripts, but heavenly scripts that showcase His awe-inspiring faithfulness and love. We can discover our true purpose when we entrust the pen to the Author of Adventure, the result is a life story more fulfilling than anything we have ever dreamed.” Eric and Leslie Ludy

I don’t mind our modern day princess fairytales, but I believe that it’s about time for the whole story to be told—the story about what a princess really is. You won’t find it in the pages of a Disney book or in Hollywood. It is found in the oldest love letter of all time, the Bible!  We are already a key part of the greatest love story of all time and it all begins with the love story between God and us! It is so beautiful, it’s better than a fairytale because the love story between us and God never ends!  …”And they shall reign forever and ever.” Revelation 22:5 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

“We desire for life as it was meant to be, a yearning that cries out for the life we prize. The guide we have been given is the desire set deep within.” John Eldredge

So about our Princess hearts!  Because of who God is, how much He loves us and what He has done for us, we are daughters of the King–that makes us Princesses! We were created to have a relationship with Him and to make Him known to the world. Until we have embraced this we will always be in search for the life we were meant to have, only to find out that men, sex, drugs, money etc. can never fulfill us.  The fact is, we are royalty, already loved and valued beyond measure…

• 1 John 4:19 “We love Him because He first loved us.” God is our first love!
• Acts 20:28 “Shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” The people are God’s church–we have been purchased by God through Jesus’ death on the cross.
• 1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.” We have been chosen by God!
• 1 Corinthians 6:20“For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” God gave up His son for us–He paid the price for our sins by becoming sin for us on the cross. This is the price God paid so that we could be His.
• Romans 8:17 “We are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ”. James 2:5 “Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?“  We are Princesses of Royalty–heirs to His kingdom!
• Jeremiah 31:3 “The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.” As John Eldredge discovered, we can turn the validation of our souls over to God because He is the love we have wanted all our lives. He is what validates us!
• Hosea 2:19-20 “I will betroth you to Me forever;Yes, I will betroth you to Me In righteousness and justice, In lovingkindness and mercy;I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the Lord.” God’s love for us is that of a Groom for His bride, this indicates the level of intimacy He loves us with! In fact, He considers us His bride!         

“God had a new word for us as women living in the power and beauty of our true identity in Christ. DANGEROUS!!!!!” Jennifer Hanson

We are–set apart, daughters (princesses) of the King! We may have made the worst of mistakes or live with pain from being victimized by someone else, we may even feel shame or worthlessness but this doesn’t separate us from God’s love or change our value. I have learned this through my own healing process that is still molding me into the woman that God has created me to be. Through it all God has never forsaken me and just like everyone else; He waits eagerly for His princesses to come to Him. “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

~Part 2~

How this all relates to our earthly love story…the Princess and her Prince!

“Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you’ll always be looking to mere men to meet your needs that only He can fill. Only when you make Jesus Christ your first love, will you be ready for a love story that reflects His glory.”–Leslie Ludy

A princess knows her value and worth because of who she is in Christ. This means she’s not going to give herself away cheaply to just anyone, she will wait for her prince! She has been purchased by God—she belongs to Him. She has already been fought for and sought after by the King of Kings and this is a confidence that fills her heart. She knows that it is the value of who she already is, that places the value on her virginity. It is not the other way around! She rests securely in Christ so she doesn’t look to man for her security. She has already found her first love so she will not need a man for validation or approval. When we are complete and whole in Christ, we have opened ourselves up to receiving all that He has for us, we have began the fascinating adventure of becoming who God has created us to be! Not only that, but our freedom and healing through this allows us to receive God’s love so that we can love others the way He has loved us! There’s no other way to love others with Christ’s love without first receiving it.

What happens when this princess meets her prince? She loves him for who he is—for who God made him to be and she will know how to love him with God’s love. It will not be about what he can do for her, it will be about what she can do for him. This is the mindset of Christ, He was a King but also a servant. There is nothing more powerful than to love someone with a pure and holy, righteous love—the key ingredient, God Himself! This is the ONLY thing that can create a fairytale marriage—no luck or magic about it! God’s plan never happens by chance or fate. His plan for us began before we were ever born! (As princesses every detail of our lives has purpose and meaning.) Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you can have a perfect marriage, there’s no such thing. But God can make it the best it can ever possibly be!

Perhaps the most challenging part for the princess (it has been for me) is to wait on God’s timing for her prince. This is a major piece to the princess story because God’s timing is perfect and if this isn’t done right, there is no fairytale. (I speak from my own experience of reaping ugly consequences for my mistakes. But with God, any situation can be redeemed into something beautiful if we let Him!  A fairytale-like marriage isn’t only for those who have not made mistakes.)  This is because God’s plan for our lives is so beautiful that He needs us to give Him time to prepare us for it. A princess will have to learn the fine art of not rushing God’s plan. It can be painful but it’s for our own good. It’s the preparing through growth and healing that creates a full dependence on God so that when God blesses us princesses with the love and security that comes from our prince, it will be added blessings instead of something that can be unhealthy.

As real life examples, Authors and speakers Eric and Leslie Ludy have written about their fairytale marriage and use their experience to encourage others to wait for the fairytale marriage that God can also bless them with. One of my mentors and other favorite authors Barbara Wilson says that, “experiencing our earthly love story according to God’s plan for our lives enhances our love story with Him.” I believe this is what the Princess fairytale love story is all about and it brings much glory to our King (Jesus)!

True Love, Adventure and Romance God’s way–the Princess has been rescued!  Proverbs 13:12  Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

Related Book and Study Recommendations: Sacred Romance, Captivating and Journey of Desire by John Eldredge, Sixty Six Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb,Love Idol by Jennifer Dukes Lee, every book by Eric and Leslie Ludy, Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris, The Invisible Bond by Barbara Wilson, The Inheritance Study By Beth Moore

*Although pornography may not be considered a cultural norm, yet it is the most lucrative industry in the world.  Is it no surprise that our over sexualized culture is the way it is?

25 True Beauty Facts

                        By Deborah Rodriguez

My story, I spent many years looking into the mirror and hating what I’ve seen. I knew no matter how hard I tried, I could never see a reflection of perfection.
The mirror was my enemy, yet it’s what saved my life one night.

Growing up I heard so many cruel names, and they became my truth. I believed I was worthless, no good, ugly, stupid, and so many other names that wouldn’t be appropriate to write here. I was abused physical, sexually, emotionally, and mentally. I felt trapped in my dark lonely world and it felt like there was no way out.

On the outside I put on a tough front. I acted like nothing in this world could hurt me. But on the inside, I was a little girl afraid to live in such a cruel world. All the evil that I experienced in life, was the cause of me hating God. I figured if God was real, why would He allow all these horrible things to take place in my life?

I had enough, and I was determined to end my pathetic existence. I believed once my life was over, no one would even miss me. I grabbed that rope and already had it all planned out in my mind.

I tied the rope around my neck and it was in that moment I heard a voice tell me to stop. The voice told me I had a great purpose and that He loved me. I knew it was God speaking to me and when I turned around I saw my reflection staring right at me.

I looked like a totally different person. I looked dead already. When I looked into my eyes I saw a girl fighting. Fighting to live and rise above all the ugliness. A girl that God loved and had a purpose for, despite all the terrible things she had been through. The same mirror that haunted me for years, was now the very thing that awakened my soul.

Now when I look into the mirror, I see a strong woman. I no longer see a victim but a victor! I may have been beaten down and thrown into the ashes. But God has dusted me off and given a new life.

If He did it for me, I know He is capable of doing it for anyone else.  Now I’m the founder of True Beauty Ministries. My heart and passion is to reach out to all the lost and hurting souls. Through my writing I desire to encourage all women to be the woman God created them to be. True Beauty Ministries is here to encourage, uplift, and inspire all women to know their worth in Christ.

~Deborah, True Beauty Ministries

Beauty has more to do with reflecting Christ  than what our appearance looks like. Here are 25 true beauty facts, that will make you rethink what beauty truly is!

 1. Beauty is reflecting the heart of Christ.

Our hearts are so important. The Bible tells us that out hearts are deceitfully wicked, so we need to ask Christ to change it. When we have a heart filled with love, joy, and peace, we radiate a beauty that nothing on this earth could ever give us.

 2. No cosmetics can cover up an ugly heart.

We may use cosmetics to cover up a flaw, but it definitely can’t cover up an ugly attitude. Beauty isn’t just about a pretty face. It’s about having a beautiful soul. Don’t focus so much on your outer appearance that you forget about the inside. Beauty is reflected in ones character.

3. True beauty comes from being secure in who God made you.

A confident woman knows who she is in Christ, so she has no need to impress others. Be secure in who God made you to be and know that His approval is enough.

4. Grace sees beauty when the world sees failure.

The beauty of grace sees you past your faults and sees you in the eyes of love. Gods grace doesn’t see you the way people do. People may judge you and criticize you, but God will see you for who you truly are.

 5. Society doesn’t define you.

Trends will fade away and go out of style. You don’t have to constantly try to keep up with what society says is right. Gods standards are way more important and they are consistent.

 6. Modesty is not outdated.

Fashion magazines may say otherwise, but modesty will never be out of fashion. Choosing to respect your body and not flaunting it for the whole world to see is not a trend, but a life style.

7. You are good enough.

To others, you may not be enough. But to God, you are a complete and perfect creation who was gifted with wonderful talents.

 8. You don’t have to keep up with the standards of this world.

You are a beautiful child of God and you were meant to shine for Jesus. This world will try to tell you what you need to do, how you should act, and how you should look, but you don’t have to follow the worlds standards.

 9. Kindness is beauty.

A rotten heart is ugly no matter how hard you try to mask it, plant seeds of kindness wherever you go. That is the essence of beauty.

 10. You are worth the wait.

You don’t have to date around in hopes of finding a guy who will “love” you. Wait on God to bring the right man for marriage, because you are definitely worth the wait.

 11. Be who God made you to be.

It’s tempting to see that popular girl and desire to emulate her. But God made you unique, so trying to be like someone else is just a waste of time. Be who God made you to be, not what others want to see.

12. Don’t get wrapped up in negativity.

There are many negative things that can take place in life, but you don’t have to get wrapped up in them. When it comes to drama, you can walk away.

 13. Your words have life.

Your words matter. Use them to bring life and hope to a hurting soul. Use them to build and not destroy. Let your words be seasoned with grace.

14. Silence is golden.

Not every criticism or opinion deserves your attention. It’s ok to ignore it and move on. Sometimes being silent leaves a bigger impact than trying to defend yourself with words.

15. A gossip ruins friendships.

Gossip is dangerous and can hurt. Choose to not partake in it. If someone comes to you with any gossip, just kindly tell them you’re not interested in listening to it or talking about it.

 16.Comparison will steal your joy.

Don’t fall victim to the comparison game. You know? The one where you look at someone else and try to fit your life into their mold. That’s exactly what you’re doing when you compare yourself, just be satisfied in all that God has given you.

 17. Keep your standards high.

You don’t have to lower your standards to gain acceptance by others. Even if everyone else is gossiping and making fun of others, you can choose to not participate.

18. Be joyful in trials.

You may not have the best days, but when you have God with you, the ugliest days can become beautiful. Maintain joy by placing your eyes on the problem solver and not your problems.

 19. Be willing to forgive

To forgive means to not seek revenge on the one who has hurt you. It means letting go of the anger you harbor inside and allowing God to deal with that person as He, in His perfect wisdom sees fit. It doesn’t mean excusing the wrong or denying it ever happened. It means you don’t allow it to consume you with anger.

 20. Impact the world around you

It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of your own life, but it’s good to pause and take a look around. There are so many people in need and God wants to use you to impact their lives.

21. The opinions of others doesn’t determine your worth.

People will always have opinions about you and your life. But the main person you need to please in this world is God. He knows what’s best for your life, so worry about His opinion more. Live to please God and not man.

 22. Be humble and give God the glory.

Don’t seek to make everything all about you. Don’t fight for the spot light. No matter how much God uses you, remember that without Him it wouldn’t be possible. Be humble, even in your victories.

23. Have a listening ear.

Don’t be quick to talk. Many people are carrying so many burdens and rarely have someone to hear them out. Take time to listen and be understanding.

 24. Be honest.

Honesty builds trust. Being true to your word and keeping your promises, will show people that you are a reliable and trustworthy person. Even when you make a mistake, choose to be honest and admit it.

Lying your way out of a situation never solves anything and can cause others to no longer trust you. Don’t downplay your fault, acknowledge it and work on doing things better next time.

 25. Be a model of Christ.

Fashion models represent a clothing brand. We are models for Christ, or as the Bible puts it- we are ambassadors. That means we represent Christ daily to those around us. Be a good model by showing love, mercy, and grace to everyone.

Copyright © 2015 by Deborah Rodriguez

The Promise of the Wedding Bouquet 

Waiting for the Man of My Dreams By: April Aguirre

The first time I caught a wedding bouquet was two years after I went through a divorce, so I was pretty excited. Well, except for one thing. There was only me and one other lady competing for it. This put a real damper on the magical moment because I knew it wasn’t by divine providence that I caught it, or luck for that matter!

Those were the days I thought my new beginning would begin the instant I could be with the man of my dreams. I also prematurely thought that having a new home and even more children would kick-start my new life. But the new beginning God had in mind was far better!

Little did I know, the next chance to catch another bouquet would come seven years later. Yet unlike the first time, it was truly magical! But before I tell you about this, you’ll need to know about something even more extraordinary—the next seven years that taught me how to wait for the man of my dreams!

Ephesians 3:20-21  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever.

Slowly I began to learn what not clinging to the shattered pieces of my old life meant. I had to let go of my dreams of growing into a large family, an adventurous tour around the world within the military community and someday having a dream home to settle into. Yep, that was about it! These were my dreams. They don’t seem like much, yet at this time in my life they were my everything.

The last eight years were dedicated to supporting my former husband’s military career and although our relationship was wounded, I never lost sight of my vow to be a supportive wife. In fact, I was so intent on this that my identity became the ribbons and medals on his uniform.  I could blame my pride as an American, for those who serve our country, but that wouldn’t be completely honest. My real weakness was finding my identity in others instead of my true identity in my Creator and Savior Jesus Christ.

 2 Corinthians 5:17   Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Nonetheless, during the first years as a single mom I became so broken I ran to Jesus, the only one I knew could save me! He rescued me from an addiction to contacting psychics, used a DUII to keep me from a life of bars, clubs and drinking and eventually began the healing process from an abortion. This is what kick-started my new life—I rededicated my faith, became active in church and then my new beginning finally came!

God became my only source for security, provision, protection and the only connection I had to the Man of My Dreams. This led me to finding immense comfort as I expressed to my Lord with each passing year how my loneliness caused grief. This opened my heart up for Him to speak His words of love to my aching heart and to receive renewed promises to wait on His plan for my life.

As I began to enjoy His love, He replaced my sorrow with joy and confidence in His faithfulness! He used my loneliness and disappointments to open spaces in my heart for the deeper joys of finding Him. I remember the day God asked me, “Do you love me more than the man of your dreams?” Without hesitation I said, “Of course I do!” Then I entered a season when these very words were tested with action. That summer began with the pain and disappointment of spending yet another one alone. It was in this most difficult season of singleness that the Lord asked me to give Him my desire for a husband. As I relinquished this desire on His altar I realized that this was what it meant when I told Him that “I love Him more.” But more importantly I finally realized that all along I already had the man of my dreams! My Lord and Savior who not only died for me on the cross but also waited patiently for me to become fully His.

Psalm 37:4  Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

By 2013 I learned to surrender my desires and dreams to God and at this time my old desires were replaced with bigger and better dreams than I’ve ever thought possible! In fact, it was this year that the vision for this magazine was born and ground work was laid for me to become the leader of a single mom’s group at my church.

I used to wonder why God was so patient with me! After all, had I given Him my whole heart in 2006 when I first became single, life would have been much easier. But that’s just it! He knew that it would take my brokenness to lead me to Him but yet He could not make me love Him by force, so rather, He relentlessly pursued me until I was ready to freely give Him all of me. This is why God doesn’t force love for Him because if He did, it would not be love; love was created to be a choice.

This happens to be the first step to saving yourself for the man of your dreams….it begins with finding True Love in Christ.  Why?

“God’s love is intensely personal; it never fails. With Him we can enjoy an intimacy far beyond what even the dearest earthly loved one could ever offer, for He lives in us, every moment day and night.” Ruth Meyers

The need to medicate pain with false intimacy is less likely when life is full of God’s goodness. But when the need for intimacy, love, purpose and affirmation becomes a crippling force, rather than a healthy God-filled one, waiting for the person of your dreams becomes very difficult. All too often, vulnerability leads to settling for less because sexual promiscuity leads to an insatiable search to fill a void rather than to love.  This is why couples with unmet needs, even within marriage, can become vulnerable to infidelity. How much more can singleness affect someone in the same way if these God- sized needs aren’t fulfilled? What I have learned is that God can fill up all our empty deficits. He is enough to sustain us as we wait for our dream partner.

The Bouquet

I was at the center of the dance floor looking up only to notice that I was the shortest girl out of about forty competitors. As their long arms extended much higher than my short petite ones, I instantly knew it would take a miracle if I were to catch the bouquet. I said a quick prayer,“ Lord, please let me be the one; fulfill Your special promise to me!” Suddenly the bouquet was launched so hard that it hit the ceiling then came crashing down next to my nephew who stood beside the bride. He grabbed it just in time for me to swoop it out of his hands!  Had anyone else picked it up, I wouldn’t have been able to do this but the Lord knew how to create the perfect way for the shortest lady on the dance floor to get the bouquet. This was my magical moment!!

James 1:2-4  Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

My bouquet now sits in my home as a reminder of how God always keeps His promises. But the bouquet means more than that! It’s a reminder that learning to first let Him be the Man of My Dreams made it possible to wait, heal and grow into the woman He created me to be. Now I know that waiting isn’t just about finding the right one, it’s about becoming the right one.  To The King, be all the glory for the great things He has done!

Ecclesiastes 3:11  He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Dr. MaryAnn Diorio earned her PhD in French from the University of Kansas, her DMin in Christian Counseling from Christian Leadership University, and her MFA in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University.  She is a Certified Life Coach, a Certified Behavior Consultant, and a Certified Biblical Counselor.   A widely published author, Dr. Diorio writes compelling fiction that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart.  She also writes a blog entitled Matters of the Heart. Dr. MaryAnn and her husband have been married for 45 years and are blessed with two grown daughters, a son-in-law, and five precious grandchildren.  When not writing, MaryAnn enjoys painting, reading, and having fun with her grandchildren. You may reach MaryAnn at maryann@maryanndiorio.com or at www.maryanndiorio.com.

 

Sex and Soul Ties

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

If you’ve had sex outside of marriage, you formed a soul tie—or more than one—that may be the cause of the emotional, psychological, and physical problems that are now tormenting you.

What is a soul tie? A soul tie is the spiritual link that is formed between two souls during sexual intercourse. First Corinthians 6:16 describes a soul tie: “And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, ‘The two are united into one.’ ” This uniting into one is a soul tie.

When the soul tie is created only in marriage, the link is lawful and the two souls involved are blessed because of their obedience to God’s commandment to have sex only within the context of the marriage relationship. But if the soul tie is created through sex outside of marriage, all kinds of serious problems result.

A soul tie created by sex outside of marriage is the unlawful tying together of two souls. This unlawful tying together causes spiritual bondage between the two souls for the rest of their lives unless the soul tie is broken through the power of Jesus Christ. Because of this spiritual bondage, the demonic spirits found in one person can transfer to the other person, and vice versa.

In today’s culture, we consider two people married when they have gone through the wedding ceremony. In Biblical times, two people were considered married once they had sexual intercourse. So, in God’s eyes, marriage results from sexual intercourse, not from a wedding ceremony.

Interestingly, in some states, when a couple wants to get a divorce, the judge will ask them if the marriage has been consummated. In other words, he will ask them if they have had sex yet because, according to the law in that state, a relationship becomes a marriage when the couple has had sex.

In light of this understanding, every time someone has sex with another person, she is married to that person. Not only that, but every time someone has sex with another person, her soul is tied to that other person’s soul.

So, if a girl has sex with five guys, in God’s eyes she has married five times and her soul has been tied to at least five other souls. In most cases, the number of soul ties is even greater since each of the guys may have had multiple sex partners.

Do the math. This means that a girl who engages in premarital sex with one guy can be tied to hundreds of other souls without even knowing it. Yet, all of those other souls are affecting her every day.

No wonder so many people are suffering so much emotional, psychological, and physical torment! They are in bondage to hundreds of other souls all of whom have demonic forces operating against them. And all of these demonic forces combined are operating against that one person who chose to have sex outside of marriage.

Consider this example. Let’s say a guy sleeps with a girl who is involved in the occult. Afterwards, he begins having nightmares and develops unreasonable fears. This guy, who, before sleeping with the girl was never afraid of anything, is now terrified of everything. Why? The reason is that the demons of the occult in the girl’s soul transferred to the guy’s soul when he slept with her.

Not a pretty picture, is it? Does it make you think twice about having sex outside of marriage?

Soul ties can also be caused by sexual abuse or unhealthful emotional relationships. In such cases, the same Jesus Christ who wants to deliver you from the sin of premarital sex will deliver you from the soul ties created through sexual abuse.

Remember this: Sex outside of marriage will destroy your soul. This is the reason that God forbids it. He is not out to keep you from pleasure. He is out to keep you from pain.

In our next issue, Dr. MaryAnn will discuss how to get rid of soul ties.

Copyright 2015 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at maryann@maryanndiorio.comto request permission.

 

 

Dignity: What a Girl Wants by Shari Braendel    

I recently spoke on the topic of modesty and dignity to the freshman female students at the largest university in the country, Arizona State University. In fact, it was my 5^th year speaking on the same subject. They keep inviting me back. Why? Because when the topic of modesty comes up, you’d think young women might tune out because they thinks it’s old-fashioned, boring and just not relevant to their lives. However, when you add dignity to the equation, something stirs deep within.

According to Webster’s Dictionary, the definition of dignity is “the quality of being worthy of honor or respect”.  And that’s what all young women desire.

Girls yearn for others to pay attention to them and discover at a very young age that dressing to expose their bodies garners that attention. They ‘re looking for someone to honor them and find them worthy; but trade in their dignity by wearing revealing clothes in the hopes that the opposite sex will find them appealing.  Boys do notice.  And girls keep dressing in ways to get that attention; unfortunately it’s the wrong kind of attention. Helping teens and tweens learn how to dress with confidence without showing all their “stuff” actually can raise a girl’s self- confidence and help her feel better about herself. So how do we do that?

Girls have a penchant for pushing the limits to accentuate and expose their changing bodies. They do this by watching their friends dress suggestively so they want to dress that way too. What our teens and tweens don’t understand is that when they choose provocative clothes, they not only disrespect others, they disrespect themselves. As parents, you can help break this pattern.  If we can alter the shopping experience we have a chance of getting our girls back into clothes that reveal their dignity.

Make shopping a fun experience, even if it hasn’t been in the past. Be proactive in planning your shopping outing. To do this, shop alone with your daughter. Leave siblings and friends at home. Tell her you want to find out what’s in style for girls her age, and that you’re open to what she picks out. Ask her to show you what she likes and promise not to make negative comments about her selections. This might be hard, but you can do it!

Spend an hour or so looking at the clothes she chooses, then tell her it’s time for a break and go to a coffee shop. Spend  time talking about modesty and dignity. Ask her what she thinks it means and help her to understand that it’s an attitude of respecting herself. Show her the 5 B’s of Beauty and Style (posted in photo) and then tell her you are going to go back to the store to buy her an outfit. As long as it covers these guidelines and is within your budget (give her the budget ahead of time), she can take it home. Now watch her have some fun!

Your daughter may not come home with the outfit you would have chosen (please, please let her choose it and try to keep quiet), but she will come home with an outfit that show others the real beauty she is; dignified and lovely.

Give your daughter the space to make her fashion choices, whatever that might be, as long as they are guided by these basic principles of dignity. I guarantee that bad shopping experiences will become a thing of the past. –To learn more about Shari Braendel or to have her speak at your church, school or organization visit her at www.FashionMeetsFaith.com or email her Shari@FashionMeetsFaith.com